“I’m at the point in my life where I’m so tired, depressed, and lonely that I just don’t care anymore. I’m so tired I can’t even kill myself. I’m too afraid. I will just sit here until I die of a heart attack or radiation from my computer screen.”—J. Stile (via apathie)
I love that moment when you're on a long car ride, or listening to music, or reading, and you completely zone out. You forget your troubles, and everyone around you. You're focused on that one thing, and that one thing only. You're content, and everything seems peaceful.
But I’m not sad enough, because I planned on using it as a last resort when I end things with Corey if things don’t go well. I haven’t talked to him and probably won’t get to at least until thursday. If he doesn’t call or text me, then I’m not doing shit. But I just really want it, I’m light headed from not eating much today too. God, I’m so fucked up.
So I’m ending it with Corey, I activated my facebook and I saw shit that confirmed my suspicions. Good thing I bought a perc today, I’m going to need it when he ever decides to talk to me because I’m telling him that I can’t do it anymore. I want it now, but I’ll regret it if I take it. Besides I’m on an upper to finish my essay. Shit, I’m such a different person.